Merry Heart (DHT Humor)

Police Blotter – by JGLM

Bizarre Crimes Reported at a Divine Healing Technicians Training in Lima, Peru!

After talking to several witnesses and conducting a careful investigation, we were able to ascertain the following peculiar allegations at this bizarre crime scene.

Animal Cruelty
~Several sacred cows – butchered all throughout sanctuary.
~Some reports of pet doctrines being killed in the crossfire.
~Snakes and scorpions – trampled under feet, left for dead.
(Prints recovered at the scene – Cowboy Boots, size 9.)

Multiple Theft Incidents
~Reports of excuses being forcefully stripped away.
~Hindrances to healing – stolen from people’s minds.
~Generational curses – unaccounted for.

Assault and Battery
~“Religious types” complained of being severely traumatized.
~Many Diseases & Sicknesses – verbally assaulted.
~Unclean spirits – harassed and forcibly removed from building.

Civil Rights Violated
~”J-word” used (despite objection from some demon folk)
~Doctrines of devils – exposed and humiliated
~Unclean spirits – claimed their “open door” policy was violated

Various Offenses
~Many prisoners – set free and still at large.
~Several severed toes were found throughout crime scene (same cowboy boot appears to be the culprit)
~One report of the English language being brutally Texanized.

These offenders are to be considered armed and extremely dangerous!!!

Special thanks goes to Ben Bookout who came up with this from our DHT.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Merry Heart (DHT Humor)”

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s